Conversation Between Uncle Sam and The Young Man

6 Nov

I heard and saw it all.  I saw  Uncle Sam, dressed in a business suit, pointing that long finger in the poor kid’s face, glaring at him through slit-shaped eyes: YOUNG MAN, YOU have been sent to the office because YOU HAVE NOT BEEN TURNING IN YOUR PACKETS! DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF??!!!”

Young Man:   Uh-h-h-.

Uncle Sam: SPEAK UP, YOUNG MAN! DON’T MUMBLE. MUMBLERS WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING! I’M SURE YOU WOULD LIKE TO AMOUNT TO SOMETHING SOMEDAY. SPEAK UP NOW!

Young Man: Well, . . . .

Uncle Sam: Well WHAT??!! DON’T WASTE MY TIME WITH YOUR STAMMERS. EITHER YOU HAVE BEEN TURNING IN YOUR PACKETS OR YOU HAVE NOT! WHICH IS IT THEN?

Young Man: Not.

Uncle Sam: AND WHAT, THEN, IS THE REASON FOR  THAT?

Young Man:  Nothing, Sir, except . . . .

Uncle Sam: YES–EXCEPT WHAT???!

Young Man: Well, Sir. They’re really BORING.

UNCLE SAM: BORING!!!!

Young Man: Yes, sir.

UNCLE SAM: WHAT DIFFERENCE COULD THAT POSSIBLY MAKE?

Young Man: Well, all the difference in the WORLD, Sir.

UNCLE SAM:  YOU HAVE BEEN IN SCHOOL FOR OVER EIGHT YEARS, AND YOU STILL EXPECT SCHOOL TO BE INTERESTING???

Young Man (With his head down, mumbling: Yes , Sir.

UNCL;E SAM: WELL, get OVER it!

Young Man: I can’t, Sir. I cannot get over it.

UNCLE SAM: AND WHY WOULD THAT BE????  MOST PEOPLE GET OVER IT LONG BEFORE THEY REACH YOUR AGE. BY THIRD GRADE, I’D SAY–AT LEAST!

Young Man: With all due respect, Sir, I am not LIKE most people. I DO know that.

UNCLE SAM:  WELL, WHY AREN’T YOU? HAVEN’T YOU BEEN RAISED LIKE EVERY OTHER CHILD?

Young Man: No Sir.

UNCLE SAM: WELL, FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE! HOW ODD!  HOW HAVE YOU BEEN RAISED, THEN?

Young Man: Well, Sir, I have always been taught to think of myself as a unique individual, with my own unique interests and talents and ways of learning–and reasons for learning.

UNCLE SAM: OH, HEAVENS! HOW ABSOLUTELY ODD! WHERE DIDYOUR PARENTS COME FROM ANYWAY–MARS?

Young Man: No Sir. Actually, I think maybe they came from VENUS.

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